Skip to main content

Mariage Insurance

I have often spoken with my friends about a business plan to sell "marriage insurance". It would make getting a divorce as automatic and simple as getting your car insurance company to handle a collision claim. It would also focus on making getting married at least as difficult as getting a driving license (indicative of knowing the rules & having the minimum qualification) and as much a responsibility to maintain in good standing as a car insurance policy (indicative of a good "record".)

In other words, we need to educate and counsel couples before they get married - and periodically during it - rather than what's common practice today, doing it when a marriage is already troubled and couples are more likely to fail at it and divorce rather than successfully work it out.

The idea is to give people who choose to marry the tools to increase the chances of making their marriages work, and likewise allow them the dignity of a quick & relatively painless divorce.

A recent New York Times article article quotes latest studies that effectively make the medical case for my "marriage insurance" - it gives some fascinating insights on how the physical health of people gets affected based on whether they remain single, if they get married whether they remain in a good or bad marriage, and whether they get divorced.

Here are some of the quotes I found most revealing:

troubled relationships ... can leave a person far less healthy than if he or she had never married at all.
single people who have never married have better health than those who married and then divorced.
women in unhappy relationships and the women who remained emotionally hung up on their ex-husbands had decidedly weaker immune responses than the women who were in happier relationships (or were happily out of them).
couples in troubled marriages appear to be more susceptible to illness than happier couples.
couples should first work to repair a troubled relationship and learn to fight without hostility and derision. But if staying married means living amid constant acrimony, from the point of view of your health, “you’re better off out of it”.
people who had divorced or been widowed had worse health problems than men and women who had been single their entire lives.
women ... who were at highest risk for signs of heart disease were those whose marital battles lacked any signs of warmth;  men were at risk, however, when their marital spats turned into battles for control
Some suggestions for a "healthy" marriage from the couple whose studies produced most of the above results- and who themselves have a successful 30 year marriage:

taking time off together and making sure their disagreements don’t degenerate into personal attacks
use those moments of stress as an opportunity to repair the relationship rather than to damage it
[Originally posted on my personal blog at muralikd.blogspot.com, April 19, 2010] 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

It's a slow economy- Let's talk about handshakes & picking up chicks

You know it's a rough economy when Guy Kawasaki is tweeting about picking up chicks and TechCrunch is blogging about handshakes & social etiquette and beating up dead horses.

But shouldn't these guys be talking about my friend's company that just got funded to do DNA computation in the cloud - or something like that?

[Originally posted on my personal blog at muralikd.blogspot.com, May 09, 2009]

Criticism of Obama is (not) based on Racism

Stephen Colbert said it best:

"Any time a racist criticizes the president someone cries racism"

"What better way to prove you're not a racist than by highlighting a fellow critic's race"

"I wish more African Americans were like the President - raised by white people"

"Before the next time you accuse the president of having a secret plan of taking white people's money and giving it to black people or broadcast chuck and jive imitations of African American leaders, just put on a little blackwashing"

Amen!

[Originally posted on my personal blog at muralikd.blogspot.com, September 25, 2009]

Hanky Panky, Social Norms and Brainwashing by Marketing

As I wiped my hands on my handkerchief after I stepped out of the restroom, my friend's teenage daughter turned to me and said, "that right there is a major turnoff for women, if you ever plan to date women, don't ever use it". Startled and a little puzzled, I asked her why she would say such a thing about an object of hygiene. She said, "Have you heard of Kleenex?" And what if I don't have one handy when I have to wipe my hands or face or worse, have to sneeze or blow my nose? "Use your hands and wash them later", she replied without hesitation, and added, the only person she knew who uses that (referring to my guilty hanky) is her grandma!

Her reply was eye-opening - she was hinting at social cluelessness defined by a generation gap, but it also gave me the missing clue to a similar comment on TechCrunch last week by someone who said he blows his nose into his elbow joint! (Remember that ladies, the next time someone holds his elbow out for…